This is a post I read on
BABES Redefined a platform that empowers women on Facebook. It is very informativeand revelative. Please read on…
What every single woman should know? Looking at the variety of prayer and advice requests we receive in BR, especially from single ladies pertaining to marriage…, one can make a number of deductions.
There are those who it appears have put their lives on hold, just waiting to get married. They believe that their lives can truly start after they become mrs somebody. It is time to live your best life now. God made you with an intention in mind and you have a lot to offer the world. You are unique and your identity is not dependent on a gold ring. It is time to get to know yourself. What are your strengths? What are you passionate about? Have you discovered your life’s purpose? When last did you take yourself on a date? There is a lot about you that you need to discover. Who knows you better than He who created you? He will reveal all He had deposited in you if you ask. Buy that car now, run that business now, start that ministry now. It is time to start moving on the path of your destiny.
Marriage is not an emergency. I repeat, marriage is not an emergency. This is for those who are desperate to get married. Desperation makes you a target for deception. It is easy to be deceived when you are desperate. Deceived by men who are not who they say they are and make promises they have no intention of keeping. Deceived by fake prophets who will capitalise on your desperation. ‘Give me a spouse or I die’. If you die, just because you don’t have a spouse, what a waste of life. The root cause of this desperation can be diverse however I’m convinced that many in this category have not entered into Gods rest. Many do not know the character, goodness and the fatherhood of God. One promise He made to us in His word has this covered: No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly. Divine timing overrules every biological clock. You will have to choose either God’s way or society’s way. No, your time is not running out. No, you will not die if you don’t marry by the end of the year. It is not how fast but how well. I remember watching a TV program called Single& Married hosted by the late Pastor Bimbo Odukoya. Usually after some teaching, people get the chance to give comments or testimonies. I recall that during one of those segments, a lady came out to say she was in her mid thirties and she came to the program since it was to equip singles to choose a life partner. She went on to say that during one of such meetings, she met Jesus and made Him her Lord. The lady then said she is no longer desperate to get married because she had just been made a new creature and needs time to understand what this new life is about as this understanding will influence her choice of a life partner. That is a wise woman. The depth of your understanding of who you are as a believer, and your purpose as an individual will greatly influence your choice of a life partner. Understanding these things do not happen in a hurry. It takes time, revelation and process. Now you see marriage cannot be an emergency.
Take responsibility for your life. After all, it is your life. Many adult women are controlled by their mothers or fathers or friends or their pastors!!!!! They complain that there is intense pressure from every quarter. That is plausible given the cultural context but remember it is YOUR LIFE. You will either enjoy or suffer the consequences of your decisions more so your choice a life partner. Again, let it be YOUR CHOICE. The Bible always makes provision for any situation we may find ourselves in. It says, if my mother and father forsake me, The Lord will take me up. While we wait for Gods will and Gods best in choosing a life partner, there may be opposition, ridicule, parental threats etc. Do not allow anyone to pressure you. You cannot control the pressure, but do not let it influence your decisions. Many parents who pressure their kids do it for selfish reasons. They just want to do a wedding ceremony or don’t want to be the last in their circle of friends to marry off their daughters. Per adventure you marry a wife beater in a bid to please them, they will not be the one receiving the beatings. Remember it is YOUR LIFE. For those of us who have a relationship with Jesus and value His leading and input in our lives, we can testify He doesn’t pressure us. He leads and guides us by His Spirit. Even receiving salvation is a choice.
Finally there are those who would do anything to married. Anything to keep a relationship that isn’t working. Those who have lost every sense of worth. Some relationships are doomed from the start and no amount of effort can salvage it. If the foundation be destroyed, what can the righteous do. Your courtship is a glimpse of your marriage. If there’s no team work in courtship, it won’t change suddenly after exchange of rings and vows. A broken engagement is way better than a lifetime of misery. You hear ladies justify staying in a dysfunctional relationship because they feel they’ve ‘invested’ many years. A relationship is not an investment. Marriage is a partnership. Courtship is an eye opener and gives you the opportunity to escape a lifetime of pain. Let us learn to acknowledge our mistakes and act accordingly. If you are driving on a motorway or express way for instance and you realise after travelling for 4 hours you are on the wrong road heading in the wrong destination, will you continue on that road just because you’ve ‘invested’ 4 hours of driving? Let us learn to make U-turns in life if necessary. Wisdom is indeed profitable to direct.
Remember, you are precious to God and of great value to Him. Let no one tell you otherwise. Next time, we will share on choosing Gods way.
LOVEWORDS 